sneadly: WHY ARE BOOKS NOT WATERPROOF I WANT TO READ IN THE SHOWER
awkwardtypo asked: Karaaaa backpaaack? Phone in there? Chica?
FACE DOWN ASS UP THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE TO
A, fuck B, tie my shoes C, land my running tumbling D, sleep E, all of the above
Rock bottom in suburbia
The woman in front of me in line at CVS was in a VS track suit. She was holding a bottle of cheap wine, a gallon of whole milk, a bag of cookies, and a box of Captain Crunch. She looked like a hot mess. She turned around to look at me, in jean shorts and moccasins, holding a box of super tampons and a bag of circus peanuts (the delightfully fluffy orange candy). We made eye contact and...
My dad just started a conversation with, "Hey, you...
That is the epitome of class. My father, ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. Darcy: hey, I just met you
Mr. Darcy: and this this crazy
Mr. Darcy: but I'm going to act coldly distant to you for a long time, then awkwardly admit my undying love to you and save you from liking a horrible liar and gambler, then propose to you, telling you I love you not for your beauty but for your mind.
Mr. Darcy: so call me maybe.
mjolkk: oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug. i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat am i a bad person
When I look through my old facebook posts:
things i would like to do →
waiting-for-the-tardis: remember the time shrek 2 ended with the best animated music number ever for no apparent reason
Whenever I run, once I get past 2.5 miles I have...